


he has been dead before

by jinculty



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Big Brother Thor (Marvel), Brodinsons, Brotherly Love, Fix-It, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki Lives (Marvel), Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Protective Thor (Marvel), loki deserves better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29466393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinculty/pseuds/jinculty
Summary: Loki has been dead before. Then came back to life again without fail.This time will not be any different.or; an infinity war fix-it for Loki because he deserves better than that
Relationships: Loki & Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 122





	he has been dead before

**Author's Note:**

> Loki is not dead, end of discussion. Sadly the Russos did not get the memo so i wrote an Infinity War fix-it for Loki which results in Endgame getting fixed and everyone living happy after.
> 
> Please note that English is not my native language so i apologize for any mistakes. 
> 
> Disclaimer: None of the characters or original storyline belongs to me!

Thor has been fighting all his life.

He must admit that most of it was out of free will. He was, after all, the God of Thunder, a noble warrior and the Allfathers first born (though the last one turned out to be a lie, another one of Odin's many secrets revealed) who was worthy of Mjölnir and the rightful king of Asgard.

He always went with the attack first, ask questions later policy, admittedly not the best strategy but no one ever cared enough to stop him in his doings. 

When he thought back to all the years he spend on the battle fields of all the realms, surrounded by his allies and enemies alike, with his younger brother by his side, he wished more than ever to have the life of his younger arrogant self back, who did not yet know what it was like to lose. 

He truly was unstoppable then, with his hammer – _oh how he missed his loyal hammer_ – and the Warrior Three together with Lady Sif, the fiercest woman he ever would be able to meet at that time, and his precious little brother with his tricks and knives that always seemed to find the deadly body parts.

He swore to protect him.

No matter if it was midst a fight, where someone came charging at him from behind, or in the stillness of the night when nightmares seemed to terrorize Loki's mind. Thor was there, with his extra blanket, red in color to give his brother a sense of warmth, other times with his weapon defending the younger from possible injuries.

Even though he knew Loki was strong and skilled enough to take care of himself, Thor always looked out for him, it was as natural as breathing. And for quite a while everything seemed to go so well, they played together, fought together and even slept in the same bed more than once when none of them had the heart to leave the other alone.

_But like everything, it had to get worse before it could get better._

His mother always told him that, to make him realize that there is more to life than just success and happiness. If he had known that worse meant his brother dying then maybe he would have cherished their time together more. 

Loki had been dead before.

When he fell off the Bifrost that fateful day, Thor had a hard time coping with the fact that his dearest brother was gone, failed by none other than Thor himself. He was unable to recognize the beginnings of jealousy and madness taking over the god's heart, guiding him into darkness. 

_Why did he not follow him into the vast of space?_

That night he slept in Loki's bed for the first time in years. His brother's sheets neatly made with books lying on the nightstand some left unfinished for eternity. 

Many tears left his swollen red eyes that night, every time he blinked new ones fell ( _just like his brother did_ ) and soaked the sheets, yet Thor couldn't bring himself to care. Nightmares now following him through the night and no one there to make them go away.

The next months he restrained himself from entering the chambers ever again.

The second time was probably worse than the first.

Thor hadn't let himself dream of the possibility to see his brother again. In the end he did, but under circumstances he never would have wished for. Loki was a mad man, barely recognizable as the young God of Mischief that he grew up with, who pulled pranks on him to no end and spend his time in the library or with mother rather than fighting and training like Thor did.

They were always complete opposites. It never bothered him, more so, he thought that it was what made their bond so strong. To be able to function even with all the differences between them.

After New York he believed to never see his brother again. He refused to acknowledge the change in his siblings heart and seeing him locked away in a cell with other criminals, made his heart roar with unbelievable guilt and sadness.

Then mother died.

The first great loss he ever had to endure and he remembered Loki in his cell, with unruly and tangled hair, the furniture tossed around and agony written on his face ( _"Now you see me, brother."_ ). He tried to keep it together but Thor knew him, it was no use.

They went after the dark elves. They fought. And then, as if the universe was out for blood, Loki got impaled. 

He held him in his arms as they hovered on the cool and dirty ground. His brothers face was ashen, his eyes watery and Thor couldn't help but think _come on, you escaped death once, you can do it again._

Loki died again and his last words shoving themselves in the foreground of Thor's thoughts.

_I didn't do it for him._

Maybe if he were smarter he would have known that Loki wouldn't stay dead for long. He mourned and cried for him, having to live with the thought of not being able to safe his little brother again.

When Loki revealed himself, Thor felt many things. Happiness, for one, but also anger ( _why couldn't he just stay alive)_ and a small breeze of uncertainness. 

_It gets worse before it gets better._

That statement seemed to haunt him. 

His brother was alive. 

His father died.

Bruce was alive and well and even a Valkyrie survived death's claws. 

His sister went nuts and they had to kill her.

He saved his people.

Asgard was destroyed.

Thor thought he knew pain but turns out nothing could compete with the emotions he felt when half his people were slaughtered by the Mad Titan – _Thanos_ – the same person who haunted his brother for years.

He always prided himself in being strong, even without his hammer. Lightning was running through his veins, the immense power kept him going and going against Thanos and his children. Around him lay death.

Men. Women. Children.

Innocent souls that were in the wrong place at the wrong time, murdered in cold blood.

_You may think this is suffering. No, it is salvation._

Thanos wanted the Tesseract but no matter how often he tried to reason the Titan that he, in fact, does not possess the space stone anymore, that it was destroyed together with his planet, his words fell on deaf ears.

"The Tesseract or your brothers head", he said. But not to him. _Loki, what did you do?_

The strength of the power stone nearly ripped his head apart. In all the years that he was alive, he never felt quite as near to death then right now.

"Alright stop!" His brothers voice was barely recognizable over the throbbing in his head as the gauntlet was taken away from it. He watched Loki through half lidded eyes, blood was running down his chin and it felt like he might choke on the rest that pooled in his throat. 

The Tesseract, the source of so much trouble, glowed in Loki's outstretched hand.

"You really are the worst brother."

He didn't mean it, how could, he but the fact that his brother once again could not restrain himself nagged at him.

"I assure you brother, the sun will shine on us again." 

The look in Loki's eyes bought him near tears. He had a plan, he always did. His brother was the God of Mischief and a smart man but he was scared. Thor couldn't blame him when he too, felt frightened for the first time in years, since the vision he had as he was fighting on Midgard.

He once again wishes that a murderous super robot would be his only concern.

Hulk stood no chance against Thanos. The green guy was beaten into a pulp and Thor hoped that Banner would be okay. Then Heimdall came and used all of his remaining strength to open the Bifrost and save Bruce from the fate that awaited all of them. And then he was stabbed through the heart and for mere seconds he was back in the Dark Elves world where Loki bled out in his arms and he felt himself flinch and scream at the sight of Heimdall's empty golden eyes.

"You are going to die for that."

Thanos took the stone while one of his children brought metal on his mouth, all sounds dying in his throat as he breathed heavily. He rambled on about his plan to his followers and when he mentioned Earth, a frown build itself in Thor's face. He knew that Bruce would warn them but he was concerned. They were his friends.

In his head, he began to think of a plan. It would be rash and poorly executed but as long as they escape, they would be fine. He needed to get out of his restrains, fast, but that was the easy part of it all. The fact that he had to go against not only Thanos but the Black Order as well made his skin crawl.

He was ready to pour in all of his power as Loki began to speak.

"If I may interfere." _No, you may not! Get away you fool!_

He always prided himself in being strong, yet he felt weaker than ever. 

The gauntlet-clad hand tightened around his brothers throat as he trashed in the Titans hold. His eyes were wide and Thor could see the fear in them as his movement slowed down and his eyes glazed over. Loki's hand scratched at the Titans arm in an last attempt to free himself.

"You...will never be...a god..."

The sound of his little brothers neck breaking was hideous.

Thor did not remember when he started screaming against the metal. His throat was dry but he couldn't stop. His lonesome eye watched as Thanos threw his brothers body in front of him. So near, yet so far away. If he could just hold him, protect him from the world.

_Thor really was the worst brother._

"No resurrections this time."

He never wanted to kill someone as badly as he did now. His gaze left the dead body and focused on the retreating Titan. Rage burned inside him as his blood began to boil from the lightning that now emerged from him. It met everything around him, object and body alike ( _but not his brother, never his brother_ ). The anger and sorrow made him scream as the metal that held him in place creaked under the pressure.

_Say hello to your little brother, Thor._ , his mothers voice sounded in his ear.

The restrains broke apart as more lightning filled the space.

_My brother? He is so tiny._ , his own voice was filled with wonder.

The children of Thanos tensed and stood before their leader, ready as the first load of immense power hit them.

_You will look after him. It is your duty as older brother._ , mothers sounded serious.

Thor let out a cry as he tore through the Black Orders defense. They scattered in all parts of the makeshift throne room. Thanos took in a fighting stance as he waited for the god to attack. The two Infinity Stones glowed as he closed his fist and lightning met the gold of the gauntlet, so hard that the Titan had to find his footing again.

_I swear that I will protect him, no matter the cost._

A punch landed on purple skin. The titan jerked back before rushing forward, using the power stone to throw the god through the room. Thor landed heavy on his back, his body still aching from the previous attempts to stop Thanos from all the killing. He just wanted to lay down in his bed, back on Asgard, with his brother there in the morning to throw him out of bed and scolding him for sleeping in.

But he couldn't, so he got back on his feet, a bit more unsteady than he would have liked, and ready to charge at Thanos once again. And again, and again, till he was either succeeding or dying for good.

Before he could make his plan reality, purple energy took in the whole ship (or that what remains from it). It tore through the metal and then through Thor himself as he fell to his knees again, coughing up the blood that clogged his throat.

In mere seconds Thanos was gone through a portal, summoned by the space stone and he was left on the ground, few meters away from his brother's corps. He crawled over the shaking metal that was the floor, all energy slowly leaving his body, towards the last family he had had left. 

Thor swung an arm around his brother, securing him against his chest as his face buried in Loki's hair. It was dirty and damp with blood but he could not care less at the moment as he cried for his brother one last time.

As the ship exploded, Thor couldn't help but feel relieved that he would be united with his brother once again.

_Wake._

His only eye snapped open at the sudden intrusion in his head. His body reacted on his own as he stumbled from the table he seemingly laid on just now. It took him some time to get the black spots out of his sight and was confronted with the insides of a ship. 

He quickly turned around, ready to face whoever took him out of the ruins of the Statesman when a black and green clad person caught his eye. His brother was lying not far from him, a pillow under his head and some sort of bandage around his swollen and bruised throat.

Thor threw himself on his knees beside his brother, his shacking hands reaching out to him, yet too afraid to actually touch, in case this all was just a hallucination his mind made up in result of the grief he felt over his brothers death. 

"Loki." 

"You shouldn't move him around. Let him rest.", sounded a voice behind him and he was reminded that he was not alone.

He turned around and was met with the crew, a weird bunch of people, not that he could judge.

"Who the hell are you guys?"

After all the introductions ( _"We are the Guardians of the Galaxy. Who the heck are you?"_ ) and explanations ( _"Why are we here?" "Followed your ditress call, man. Found you two clinging to each other."_ ) were made, Thor found himself sitting beside Loki on the ground. His hands rested in his lap and while he desperately wanted to reach out to him and cradle him in his arms like he did when they were younger, he hesitated and listened to Gamora's advice to let him lay still and rest to assure no other injuries will come to him.

Soon he decided that he couldn't just sit there without doing anything, so he took his brother hand in his and squeezed lightly, hopeful that it will anchor Loki to reality and let him awake sooner than later and to keep himself assured that all this was real and his brother was still hanging onto life. 

Thor decided that he had seen Loki like that far too many times.With his skin the color of cloudy skies, his body still and his eyes either closed or freezed open. When he first held his baby brother in his arms, he swore to protect him but when it all mattered, he seemed to fail every time.

He would never be able to shake the guilt.

Loki had been dead before. Then came back to life again without fail.

And this time will be no different. 

_"Thor."_

**Author's Note:**

> "The sun is shining on us again."


End file.
